Digging out

How do you get yourself out of a mommoth rut when the mojority of the time , you just don't care that you're in one ? All the things that used to inspire you are now just insurmountable ideas that past experience has tought you are very very slim in every actually pulling off . Now that's just fucked up . Most of the time i don't care anymore . But occasionally i get a whiff of inspiration ... Only to have the thoughts of futility overcome me and quash it .
Another holiday season approaches and as per usual i go through it all alone . GOD i fucking hate the holidays ... Or do i just hate me anymore ? Probably both .
Merry Fucking Christmas ... Can't wait for the New Year . More of the same shit .